Riddle: Why did the turtle cross the road?

Answer: to get to the Shell Station

Riddle: How do turtles talk to each other?

Answer: By using Shell phones

Riddle: Why is turtle wax so expensive?

Answer: Turtles have such small ears

Riddle: What can never get on it's feet, once it's on it's back, and cannot be harmed once it's on it's feet?

Answer: A Turtle

A snail was jumped by a bunch of turtles and beaten up. The police came to take down the details. They asked the snail to tell them what he had seen, and the snail said "I don't know, it all happened so fast"